Night thoughts
by chibi-eladiel
Summary: 2376: Ezri Dax doesn't sleep and thinks...


I'm sorry by advance of my errors, english isn't my mother tongue but I tried to do my best. I hope it's at least understandable...

**Night thoughts**

_Deep Space Nine, 2376_

It was the end of the night shift, and the station was still silent, as lost between two worlds. In one hour, it would come to life again, as it always did since eight years.

Ezri Dax, just wearing a light nightdress, was sitting in her bed. Julian Bashir was calmly sleeping near her, relaxed, a boyish expression on his face, and she smiled as she was looking at him. He had had a very long day, and went home very late in the night because he was on call to the infirmary.

Since eight months they were together, she discovered that it was the first time she really loved someone. Now they were a real couple, and she had to admit she was really feeling secure in this situation, even if she knew about Julian's emotional instability. After all, he couldn't be perfect but for her he was perfect enough. Moreover, having the Dax symbiont in her belly gave her some experience and she now had learned to make the most of the most of the time she spent with him.

After a confusing period, she was now quite well with all her 'lives', enough to live serenely hers. But, some nights, she experienced nightmares about her previous lives, like short flashes, and that was one of them which awoke her. She lived again Torias' death in a shuttlecraft crash, and it was really difficult, but she knew it was a security thing for her mind.

In fact, she wasn't prepared to be a joined Trill, and had to learn herself how to manage and live with the eight lives she now had in herself. Ezri Tigan somehow died this particular day, and, when she thought about her life before, she couldn't remember many things. Now she was the wise and experienced Ezri Dax but, in her way of being and behaving, she was still by some traits the old Ezri.

Julian Bashir moved in his sleep, and she smiled. It was that mix between the old Ezri and the one the symbiont made that seduced the doctor, and she thought it was really the best part of her joining. She knew Julian was seduced by Jadzia when they arrived on the station, but she never gave him his chance, preferring Worf at the end. That made her situation ambiguous when she came again on the station, but, after a confusing moment, she succeeded integrating the main crew. Unfortunately, as Benjamin Sisko disappeared, they all spread out and only Kira and Bashir stayed, as Quark. Now she was still the station's counselor, and that role was fitting her quite well, as she could see. She had found some sort of happiness there, in fact.

She lightly laughed when she thought about the hard time she had when she was sure the handsome young doctor won't even look at her. After all she wasn't exactly his woman type, as she could know after Jadzia's knowledge. Even after eight months of relationship, she still couldn't say what attracted him, perhaps a remaining of Jadzia's special aura. When she posed him the question, he stayed silent a long time but finished by saying it was an ensemble of things he couldn't really separate. The answer wasn't here but the feelings were, so she decided to trust them. Could be an old wisdom thing from one of her previous hosts.

And after ? She was wondering that question from time to time. Would she stay a counselor all her life ? She was thinking about that before she went into the battle with the _Defiant_. There she felt the combat exaltation and saw captain Benjamin Sisko commanding with mastery the little but tough ship. So an idea came to her, but she didn't think about it since: why wouldn't she enter the command section?

She decided to let the idea make his way through her mind until she would be ready for admit and realize it.

Her eyes posed on the clock and she saw the wake up hour was near now; a new day will begin on _Deep Space Nine_ with Kira's command problems, Ro's new security concepts and Quark's stupid plans to earn more latinum. A normal day, in fact.

"Hello", a very familiar voice said, and Julian opened his eyes. She smiled and kissed him, as, outside their quarters, the station life was awaking again.

**The End**


End file.
